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It’s a Lifestyle, Not a Journey. How Turning 40 Changed My Future

Updated: Mar 22, 2021

Have you ever felt like something was missing and you need to make a change? It happened to me when I turned 40. It sucked actually. I was sure that I was having a midlife crisis.

Man, it is hard to find the strength to shift in the middle of your life.

I guess I’d like to say 40 is a halfway point, as I pray silently for 40+ more years of life. I remember this moment so clearly. I said to myself, “I feel like my career is what defines me.”

The truth is you define who you are. As human beings, we grow and change year to year and hopefully a little more each day.

What you do with your gifts, talents, and expertise is how you give to the world.

Think about it like this, a career in a specific field helps you grow in that particular industry. Most likely you stay in that field out of comfort. You know, the small things like a weekly paycheck, or health care and 401K. But the real question is often left unanswered.

Do we always have the courage to work in a space that allows us to grow and use our gifts? Not always. But that doesn’t mean that what you get paid to do from 9 to 5 defines who you are.

There is much more to you. You were born to be and do great things, and when you step out of your way and take risks, you will begin to see what to do in life.

This is the perfect time for a empowerment break. Be brave, friends. Life is short to live with regret and never listen to your purpose.

If you feel compelled to do anything that makes you happy, do it.

Make time to spend with yourself and work on growing and mastering your craft. Someone out there needs you. Your gift and talent are the medicine for their pain, do not hold it in because you don’t understand, or know how to develop it. Just like anything in life, it takes practice and dedication to master a task.

Take. a moment and fill in the blank to the statement below.

I’ve always been in a ______________. That’s all I am qualified to do.

Now ask yourself if you believe that statement, or if you know that you were cre8ted to do more.The truth is you define who you are. As human beings, we grow and change year to year and hopefully a little more each day.

A little backstory. I had my daughter when I was 25. Single parenting was not familiar to me. As my parents have been married for over 50 years now. I didn’t have friends and very few family members who represented this family structure, so it was a huge adjustment. Being the headstrong woman, I accepted the challenge and stood tall to do it solo. I remember thinking because I was a single parent that I could only be and achieve certain things.

Don’t put yourself in a box. You are capable of doing and being anything that you set your mind to do.

I had this same feeling when I decided to switch from my 25+ years in retail to marketing/design. These are two different industries, and it felt impossible to jump from one to the other, but I knew that I could not stay where my gifts could not grow.

Sometimes you have to create your own lane.

When I turned 40 and quit my corporate job, this is the moment God began to lead me on this decade-long journey. The highs and the lows often felt like a rollercoaster full of life-changing lessons. The funny thing about this ride is that it didn’t go in a circle. This rollercoaster has been an intense emotional experience that is leading me to places I’ve never been. From visual merchandiser to brand development coach and published author. Who knew?

It is time to start challenging yourself for personal change. I specifically said challenge yourself, because it won’t be easy. Are you ready to identify what you are most passionate about and incorporate that into your lifestyle?

If you said yes, take a moment and do a little happy dance right now. Making adjustments to your day-to-day habits and routines is what makes room for your happiness to grow.

Here are four ways to stay focused during the transformation:

  • Learn to be still and endure the ride. You may be scared to death or get a little sick, but hold on. Obedience is the test. You have to start facing your fears head-on.

  • Now is not the time to show out. The attention may be on you because you are changing, don’t let your ego get in the way. You have to peel back the layers and be vulnerable.

  • Celebrate the Highs and the lows along the way. There will be good times that bring great joy. Throw your hands up and be present in the moment. Then do the same thing when the rollercoaster takes a turn for the worst. Keep your hands held high and give praise in times that seem scary.

  • Keep your eyes open and don’t miss the lessons. Transformation is full of life-changing choices. It’s easy to miss the opportunity if your eyes are closed. Be open to doing things differently as well as going to new places and meeting new people.

Ok, I have a confession and I have to admit I did it wrong. I trusted my gut and quit my job before preparing for the change required for entrepreneurship. So, do not do that. By the way, this is NOT what I mean when I say GO BE GREAT. I mean, understand what you are passionate about and what fuels your fire for life. Then go do that.

You don’t have to quit your day job to live life on purpose.

I find myself repeating that statement more often lately. It is like a revelation hits, and this lightbulb slowly begins to shine each time I do. You don’t have to quit your day job to live life on purpose.

You don’t have to quit your day job to enjoy things in your life that make you happy. You don’t have to start a business to fill full of purpose either. The entrepreneur lifestyle is just that. This lifestyle is a mindset for living and; being intentional about doing things that serve others by using your God-given gifts and talent.

Most people don’t like to admit it, but you need structure in your life. We are born and immediately put on a schedule. As children, we are told by our parents; when to eat, when to sleep and when to play. Then we go to school and we succumb to the same thing. We have a schedule. After 16 or more years of training for the real world, we are now ready to venture out as adults.

The funny thing about this milestone is that sudden feeling and need to break free. Immediately your 1st thought was getting rid of any and all schedules, putting an end to doing work for free, and by all means stop listening to what everyone else tells you to.

Take a moment and remember how you felt when you graduated. Finally free. You have the freedom to live your life and do whatever you want. Because at this point the only real structure you have now is your job, and they pay you so it is worth it.

I think this is where the momentum got lost. Adults still need guidance and structure.

If you had a choice, what do you do?

You have to choose to eat healthy, workout, save, or invest money, quit a job, end a relationship, or even learning how to change your future is a choice. You have to choose to make changes. It helps when you have set goals and can feel confident enough to dream big and be fearless in your pursuit of living life on purpose.

In my pursuit, I’ve decided that it is imperative to focus on manifesting your dreams. These are seven steps that will allow you to unlearn bad habits, create new routines and learn to live life on purpose.

The 7 Step Formula for Manifesting your Dreams and creating change:

Epiphany — Identify your BIG idea. Insanity — Manage the chaos and learn focus. Exhale -Trust the process even when all hell breaks loose. S.Y.N.C.E.D. Say Yes Not Can’t Every Day. Recognize — Celebrate the highs and the lows. You are where you need to be. Believe — that you have everything your need and can have the courage to ask for what you don’t. Live — Live life on purpose and unapologetically.

Now is the time to take charge of your future. You can do it! One step at a time.


Procrastination ends when you take control of your thoughts and mind. Are you ready to create the outline for your vision? Manifesting your dreams is the act of speaking and writing your BIG IDEA to life. I’ve created a 7 step formula to help you do just that. It’s time to start living life on purpose.

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